


I Once Believed Love Would Be Black and White, But It's Golden

by soul_writerr



Series: Lover [3]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Developing Relationship, Domestic Fluff, Flirting, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Inspired by Music, M/M, Romance, Songfic, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2019-08-30
Packaged: 2020-09-30 20:20:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20452988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soul_writerr/pseuds/soul_writerr
Summary: There was admiration, and mutual respect. There was the nice recognition that they were in each other’s corner, even when things went terribly wrong. Even when things got extremely personal. Even when they felt hopeless, helpless.Even when it felt like no one else cared. Rafael would look at Sonny, and Sonny would look back at Rafael, and they’d know.





	I Once Believed Love Would Be Black and White, But It's Golden

**Author's Note:**

> Here we are again with another Lover story, and this one was inspired by the last track on Taylor's album, Daylight. I changed the sequence of verses slightly so it'd make sense with the story. 
> 
> I don't know if this is the softest fic I've ever written, and if it's only because, personally, this song is the one that hits me the hardest. Give it a listen! Enjoy!

** _My love was as cruel as the cities I lived in  
_** **** _**Everyone looked worse in the light**_  
** _There are so many lines that I've crossed unforgiven  
_ ** **** **_I'll tell you the truth, but never goodbye_ **

“Rafael, wait up!,” he heard, and groaned inwardly. It was Monday morning, the courthouse hallways were incredibly busy, and he had a ten-minute break before his meeting with the DA. He was very much looking forward to having a cup of coffee and a snack before that.

“I’m running late, Fabricio,” Rafael lied, not slowing his step. He could already see the door, and once he got out, it’d be so easy to just disappear into the crowd.

But damn him for being attracted to men with long legs, because Fabricio reached him soon enough, without even breaking a sweat. He did look extremely out of place, though.

“You haven’t returned my calls,” he said, frowning, keeping his steps in time with Rafael’s. 

He didn’t even spare the other man a look. “I guessed by now you’d know why.”

“I kind of figured it out, yeah,” Fabricio scoffed. “I just hoped I’d be wrong.”

“Congratulations, you weren’t wrong,” Rafael said with false-politeness.

“You led me on for three months only to just disappear? You didn’t even had the decency to call me?”

At that, Rafael came to sudden halt in the hallway. Fabricio’s foot slipped on the floor when he tried to stop, but Rafael was glad he didn’t actually fall. They really didn’t need more attention than what Fabricio’s outburst had already attracted.

“I was very clear from the beginning,” he said through gritted-teeth, voice low and unfriendly. “I wasn’t in it for commitment.”

“Because you’re too busy, you have no time for that,” Fabricio said bitterly, throwing Rafael’s words back at him. “You certainly had time to make a fool out of me. I introduced you to my mother!”

“Because she knocked on your door unannounced while I was there! Believe me, I’d have preferred to go down the fire-escape than to have to endure the little show you put up in front of her.”

“Fine, whatever, Rafael,” he huffed, throwing his arms up in frustration. “You’re too busy, you’re too good, you’re too above it all. Have it your way, see where that gets you.”

Fabricio threw him a look that, if Rafael was slightly less confident than he was, would have shaken him. He looked murderous, vindictive, and that never turned out good for him. 

He should have learned his lesson by now. It wasn’t the first time he burned a work-relationship to the ground because things got out of hand, more personal than he’d like. More often than not, it did come back to bite him in the ass. 

Rita had always warned him not to mix business and pleasure. Maybe next time, he’d listen.

** _Luck of the draw only draws the unlucky  
_** **** _**And so I became the butt of the joke**_  
** _I wounded the good and I trusted the wicked  
_** **** **_Clearing the air, I breathed in the smoke_ **

Sonny rejected Bella’s call for the fifth time that night and opened another beer. He didn’t want to hear it, the pity in her voice, her attempts at advice. He couldn’t stomach it right now, not with his transfer papers burning a giant hole in his bag.

It was the third one. He was so tired. 

He was tired of having to try and cause a good first impression, he was tired of ironing his best suit for his first day. He was tired of having to regain his coworkers’ trust, of having to learn to work under another commanding officer.

Sonny took a swing of his beer, gulping down half the bottle at once. He didn’t even bother to reach for a napkin when it ran down the side of his mouth and down his neck, making his skin sticky. 

He looked around his Queens apartment, knowing that, come next Wednesday, he’d have to make the commute to Manhattan. He’d never be able to afford a place there. And either way, he guessed he probably shouldn’t expect this one to stick. All the other ones hadn’t.

His phone started ringing again, so Sonny reached for it and turned it off. Tonight, he’d drink until he fell asleep. Tomorrow, he’d deal with the reality of what had happened. He’d try and process what they did. 

Because Sonny really thought Queens would be the place for him. After the disaster that drove him out of Staten Island, then the couple of weeks in Brooklyn, he thought Queens would do him good.

It had started off great; he hit it off with his partner, and his CO seemed to have the very best of intentions. That was until his partner planted drugs on a suspect. That was until his boss said he’d cover for him. That was until, when Sonny threatened to contact IAB, both his commanding officer and his partner told him they’d accuse Sonny of planting the evidence instead.

This time, Sonny was the one who asked for the transfer. It was Sonny who couldn’t wait to get out of there. His CO joked about third time being the charm, and sneered. Sonny picked up his stuff and left without saying goodbye, slamming the door behind himself. So now he was Manhattan-bound.

Sergeant Olivia Benson had put in the request for an experienced, sympathetic Detective for Manhattan’s SVU. 

Sonny wasn’t entirely sure if he fit the profile, but then he had the idea to turn his phone back on and Google Olivia Benson. This time, he’d go in already knowing what waited for him.

** _Maybe you ran with the wolves and refused to settle down_ **

When the thing with Fabricio came back around and fell in his lap, the Brooklyn DA offered Rafael a transfer to Manhattan. He accepted it, rather like a promotion, without thinking twice. 

However, he thought it’d be best to stop burning his bridges, and arrived on the island with a new mindset. No sleeping with his fellow ADAs, no fraternizing with colleagues, no personal relationships. He was there to do his job, and his job only.

That lasted as long as it took Olivia Benson to get her hands on him. 

Rafael had never worked too closely with the police. They’d deliver cases, he’d prosecute them, each on their side. Once Olivia took command of the 16th precinct, however, everything changed. 

He found himself spending just as much time in the squadroom as he did in his office. He became much more hands-on, and getting justice for the victims got five times more personal than it was before. All through the power of Olivia Benson’s unrelentless levels of compassion. 

He’d go out to drinks with the squad, to celebrate or commiserate. They had lunches and dinners together, be it to go over case files or because it was someone’s birthday. Olivia became his confidant, and he opened his arms to her, literally, in more than one occasion.

Rafael was a better ADA now than he’d ever been in Brooklyn. He was a better person in Manhattan’s SVU, and he was proud.

** _Maybe I've stormed out of every single room in this town_ ** ** _  
_ **

Sonny was happy to notice that, the next day, he wasn’t hangover. Maybe because he had stopped drinking after he found a handful of articles talking about how marvelously Sergeant Benson ran her squad, how high her closing rate was, and how distinguished her work was. 

Sonny found himself getting excited about this transfer. What if this was the one? What if Sonny fit in the elite squad Sergeant Benson ran? 

So the next morning he got up in a jump and immediately went to clean up the mess he’d left in the living room. He had leftover pizza for breakfast without a single care in the world, then took a long, hot shower that invigorated him even further.

He winced when he saw the missed calls from Bella, then hit ‘callback’ and braced himself.

“What the hell, Sonny!,” Bella immediately yelled. “You texted me you got transferred again and then ignore me for hours?”

“Sorry, Bella, it just hit me harder this time,” he sighed. “I asked for the transfer.”

“What?,” she yelled again. “Why? I thought you liked Queens!”

Sonny got comfortable in his couch and told Bella everything that happened, his sister gasping and yelling between stories, sounding as indignant as he felt. 

“You can’t just let them frame an innocent man!,” she protested. 

“I know, even though I’m not sure he’s innocent. I think I might send IAB an anonymous tip,” Sonny said, and ran his hand over his face. “They’ll know it was me, Bella.”

“Well, but they’ll open an investigation, won’t they? They’ll figure it out.” 

“I sure hope so.”

“But tell me about your new job! Manhattan, uh? Sounds too fancy for you,” Bella teased.

Sonny laughed, and told her everything he knew about the unit. 

He had a good feeling about this one.

** _Threw out our cloaks and our daggers because it's morning now  
_****_It's brighter now, now_**

Rafael had gotten up earlier than normal, and took the chance to enjoy an actual breakfast for once - and an extra cup of coffee. Toast, scrambled eggs and bacon, a true feast compared to whatever dry pastry Rafael normally inhaled down on his way from his apartment to the office. 

The coffee tasted particularly delicious when drunk in the peace of a calm morning. Calm, that was, until his phone started ringing. Rafael sighed dramatically and rolled his eyes to no one in particular. So much for not hurrying.

x 

Sonny wasn’t supposed to go in until the next day, but he’d heard over the radio that SVU had just caught a case, a high-profile one, and he guessed they could use the extra help. So, in a hurry, he put on his second best suit - his best was at the dry-cleaners, he was supposed to pick it up later - and ran out of his apartment with an eagerness that he hadn’t felt in months. 

He made one stop before he went to the precinct - his grandma always told him that bringing food always meant he’d get a good first impression. With zeppole in hand, he burst into the 16th precinct with a smile. 

** _I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you  
_** **** **_I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you_**  
** _I've been sleeping so long in a 20-year dark night  
_** **** **_And now I see daylight, I only see daylight_**

It was through the hustle and bustle of a new, complicated case that Sonny and Rafael met. Sonny with a big smile and an offered hand, Rafael with a raised eyebrow and a tentative greeting. 

The Detective was eager to impress, full of legal knowledge he believed he just had to share with Rafael. The ADA was highly amused, crossing his arms over his chest with a small smirk as he listened to Sonny go on and on about all the different angles of the case.

Of course Rafael’s natural reaction to such an unnecessary show of brains was dismissive at first, but when Sonny’s idea stuck and got the team moving to the point of eventually handing Rafael a tight, solid case, he was intrigued. 

So quietly, Rafael watched him. He saw how much Sonny worked, always on overdrive, always opening doors and pushing through the dead ends, always offering to lend a hand. He was smart, Rafael couldn’t deny that. He definitely knew what he was doing, even thought he’d caught Olivia having to stir Sonny back into place with the others a couple times. 

Sonny learned fast, and soon became a vital part of the squad.

For his part, the Detective had become immune to Rafael’s icy remarks, and found his footing in order to retaliate good-naturedly. They formed a nice, familiar back and forth that seemed endless. A delicious banter that got Rafael still chuckling hours later, and a gentle bickering that made Sonny feel lighter when he went to sleep at night.

There was admiration, and mutual respect. There was the nice recognition that they were in each other’s corner, even when things went terribly wrong. Even when things got extremely personal. Even when they felt hopeless, helpless.

Even when it felt like no one else cared. Rafael would look at Sonny, and Sonny would look back at Rafael, and they’d know. 

** _I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you  
_** ** _(I can never look away)  
_** ** _I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you  
_** ** _(Things will never be the same)  
_** ** _I've been sleeping so long in a 20-year dark night  
_** ** _(Now I'm wide awake)  
_** ** _And now I see daylight (Daylight), I only see daylight (Daylight)  
_** ** _I only see daylight, daylight, daylight, daylight  
_ ** ** _I only see daylight, daylight, daylight, daylight_ **

“Here you go,” Sonny smiled, placing a double shot of Scotch in front of Rafael. It was Friday, the squad was out for drinks, but somehow, Rafael and Sonny managed to hide themselves in a booth by the corner while the other Detectives and Olivia sat by the bar.

“My hero,” Rafael dead-panned, taking a big gulp and letting it burn down. “I can’t believe Calhoun got a leg over me.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that,” he sighed sympathetically, settling back in his seat across from Rafael with his beer. “But it was shaky either way, this way we get to take another look at it on Monday, come up with a new strategy.”

“Oh, the piece of evidence would never hold in court,” Rafael scoffed. “I just hate when she wins.”

Sonny laughed. “Ah, it’s personal, then. For old days’ sake.”

“You could say that,” he smirked, then waved a hand. “But you made me promise we wouldn’t talk about work anymore tonight, so hit me, Carisi, I know you have about a dozen pictures of your niece you’re dying to show me.”

“No pictures, just a video,” Sonny slid across the cushioned bench to the other side, crowding Rafael without preamble. “You won’t believe her.”

Rafael watched, very comfortable with Sonny’s proximity, a video that showed Emilia, Sonny’s younger niece, trying to steal cookies from a tin only for it to tip and for cookies to rain down on the little girl. Rafael laughed loudly, Sonny joining once Emilia sat down on the floor, surrounded by cookies, and proceeded to eat them. 

“Oh, she really is a Carisi,” Rafael joked, shaking his head, amused. “Look at the face she makes. It’s very you.” 

Sonny snorted. “Nah, she looks just like Bella at that age.”

Instead of going back to the other side of the table, Sonny pulled his beer towards himself and pocketed his phone. His thigh was pressing against Rafael’s under the table, and the Detective’s free arm went around the back of Rafael’s seat casually. Without hesitation, the ADA leaned back against it. 

“Do you remember what Bella looked like?,” Rafael asked, turning his face to look at Sonny. They were very close, to the point the ADA could catch a distinctive whiff of the Detective’s nice cologne. “You never told me the age difference between you two.”

“Almost five years,” Sonny shrugged, the movement immediately dislodging Rafael and bringing him a touch closer to Sonny. “So yeah, I remember most of it.” 

“Bella’s 30? She looks much younger.”

Sonny smirked. “It’s the Carisi gene. It’s a good one.”

Rafael hummed, keeping his eyes on Sonny. “You do look about 12.” 

“Oh, please,” he rolled his eyes. “Not with this job. With the amount of sleep I get, I look about 10 years older than I actually am.”

“What does that make me, then?,” Rafael asked with a raised eyebrow. 

“It makes you the best looking ADA in all of Manhattan,” Sonny said casually, full of honesty, a small smile playing on his lips.

Their relationship had changed so much in the last few months, they were both amazed by how quickly they’d fallen into a comfortable flirting, testing how far the other would go.

It was fair to say that Sonny took over every single one of Rafael thoughts, and Sonny was extremely considerate. At this point, he was able to anticipate Rafael’s needs with an accuracy that’d be scary if it weren’t so endearing. 

Rafael really couldn’t see this little dance of theirs lasting much longer, though. 

“And Staten Island,” Sonny added as an afterthought. “And Brooklyn. I wasn’t in Queens long enough to meet many ADAs, but I’d say it’s a safe guess.”

Rafael smirked. “Now you’re pushing it.” 

“Just telling it like it is, Counselor,” he said, licking his lips in a deliberate way Rafael could see right through. 

“Alright, lover boys,” Rafael almost jumped out of his skin by the sudden proximity of Rollins’ voice. He turned his head to see Fin and Olivia right behind her, both looking at them knowingly. “We’re gonna order some cheddar fries and onion rings, you in?”

“Better avoid the onion rings,” Fin suggested, looking way too pleased. Rafael rolled his eyes.

Rafael was made aware of just how close he and Sonny sitting in that moment, when he found himself being watched by his coworkers. The entirety of his left side was pressed into Sonny, from shoulder to foot, and there was barely enough space to breathe when they turned to look at each other.

The squad knew he and Sonny were close, but seeing the two of them like that probably confirmed the nature of their relationship. Or at least it hinted at where they were going - where Rafael wanted them to go. 

And because Rafael had no intention of stopping this, even though he needed to talk to Sonny about what this actually meant, and because he was not ashamed at all, he agreed to share a portion of fries with Sonny, pointedly ignoring the suggestion of onion rings. 

Olivia refilled everybody’s drinks, and the three of them joined Sonny and Rafael in the booth when the food came. Sonny barely moved, only turning his torso slightly so he wouldn’t have his back to Amanda. But he kept his arm behind Rafael, kept his side glued to Rafael’s arm, and somehow managed to give Rafael the most attention while still interacting with the rest of the group.

They ate, drank, laughed, and Rafael couldn’t remember ever feeling this fulfilled in life, this awake. With a good job, good friends, and something great blossoming between him and Sonny, Rafael was happy. 

He leaned back and took a moment to look around him, a smile taking over. Sonny looked at him, and smiled too.

x

“Hey Carmen,” Sonny greeted with a bright smile as he approached her desk. “How’s he today?” 

Carmen looked up from her computer and immediately spotted the brown bag in his hand, smiling knowingly. “Well, Mr. McCoy came to talk about the Greene case and Mr. Barba didn’t like what he had to say.”

Sonny winced, shaking his head and turning to look at the closed door of Rafael’s office. 

“But I’m sure he’ll forget about that soon,” Carmen added as an afterthought, and Sonny chuckled, blushing slightly. He was pretty sure at this point there was a bet going around about him and Rafael.

Sonny hadn’t wanted to rush into it or just risk it. They started out as friends, getting to know each other like coworkers did, tentatively - Sonny more than Rafael -, building a relationship out of mutual interest and respect for the law. Getting personal information out of Rafael was harder than getting confessions out of suspects, but with an unending amount of patience and knowing when not to press too hard, he slowly opened a few doors.

Meanwhile, Sonny was an open book while not being overbearing. The day Rafael asked, without being prompted, about Sonny’s sisters, he knew they’d crossed an important bridge. Things only grew from there, and before Sonny knew it, they were flirting. 

Provoking words, long looks, lingering touches that opened Sonny’s eyes to something he never saw coming, but that he wanted desperately. 

This thing with Rafael… it was the best thing he’d found in a very long time. 

“Thanks, Carmen,” he mumbled, then went to open the door. 

“Come in,” said Rafael’s clipped tone, and Sonny grabbed for the handle with his best puppy-eyed look in place.

Sonny found Rafael in his couch, the table in front of him a complete mess of papers and books, and a full cup of coffee in the middle of it all. The smell of freshly brewed coffee was still strong in the air, and Sonny smiled, closing the door behind himself.

“Seems like my timing was perfect,” Sonny said, approaching the ADA with confident steps.

Rafael’s frown melted away when he looked up, smiling amusedly at the Detective, then eyeing the brown bag. “It that’s a pastry, then absolutely.” 

“A croissant and a cinnabun, freshly made,” he said, satisfied, and handed Rafael the bag.

“I don’t deserve you,” Rafael replied, and Sonny wondered if he was talking to him or the snacks, so he only chuckled. “We can half this. I just made the coffee if you’d like some.” 

“I was hoping you’d say that,” Sonny smirked with a wink and went to the coffee maker.

When he turned back with his full cup, Rafael had arranged the files on a pile on top of one of the books and used his saucer to serve Sonny half of each pastry, keeping his on top of the paper bag. 

“I heard McCoy wasn’t too pleased with the Greene deal,” Sonny said conversionally, taking a seat beside Rafael on the couch.

Rafael hummed, rolling his eyes. “He didn’t say anything I wasn’t expecting to hear.”

“Doesn’t mean you have to like it, though.”

“And I didn’t,” he huffed, breaking the croissant into smaller pieces and throwing one in his mouth. “He thinks I should have taken it to trial.”

Sonny raised his eyebrows. “Without the victim’s testimony?”

“He said, and I quote, ‘your persuasion tactics must be rusty, Barba’.”

“Bullshit!,” Sonny protested, setting his cup on the table so hard he was surprised it didn’t shatter. “He know this was a domestic violence case. It’s the hard on the victims.”

Rafael paused, then sighed. “Don’t I know it.”

Sonny swallowed hard, looking at Rafael with a sympathetic expression. “McCoy’s wrong. It was a good deal. A great one. The guy went on the record on top of the 8 years, and Rose can heal.”

“You sound like Olivia,” he teased, then waved a hand. “I know it’s an okay deal and it’s what Rose wanted. I’m getting justice for her, not McCoy.”

Sonny reached for his half of his cinnabun and stuffed it in his mouth, contemplating Rafael’s words. The ADA chuckled, popping another small piece of croissant on his tongue. 

“This is good, and it’s still warm,” he said, humming contently, then reached for his half of the cinnabun. “Thanks.”

He grinned. “Don’t mention it. I know you like your snacks.”

Rafael chuckled, then picked up his coffee and leaned back, looking at Sonny. 

Sonny felt himself blushing, and grabbed his own cup just so he could have something to do with his hands. He had a plan of action, but he always got a little nervous when faced with Rafael’s searching green eyes. He really didn’t want to screw this up. 

“So,” Sonny started, then cleared his throat. He looked at Rafael furtively, taking a sip of his coffee.”I’ve been thinking…”

“Over-thinking, probably,” Rafael said, but not unkindly. Sonny wouldn’t be surprised if Rafael knew exactly what he was about to say. The ADA did have the knack for reading his mind. 

“Yeah, maybe,” he snorted. “We’ve been dancing around this for a while, I think. I didn’t want to make the wrong move and mess it up, but you’ve been giving me all these signals and I think that maybe I’m not too far off-base.”

Rafael’s eyes softened. “You’re not, Sonny.”

Sonny beamed. “Good,” he said, and set his cup down again. “That’s great. So. Rafael. Would you like to have dinner with me on Friday?”

The ADA smiled brightly. “I’d love to.”

x

“Try this,” Sonny said eagerly, holding up a spoon for Rafael. 

He leaned in with a hand on Sonny’s hip, letting the other man feed him. As soon as the sauce touched his tongue, Rafael moaned unabashedly. He did notice the immediate blush that rose up Sonny’s neck, but chose not to comment on it. Yet.

“Jesus Christ, Sonny,” he praised, licking his lips. “That’s the delicious. Do I taste honey?”

Sonny beamed, nodding. “A little, to break the bitterness. It’s for the appetizers.” 

“How many courses are you serving?”

Sonny waved a dismissive hand. “Only three, if you count desert, which I know you do.”

“You know me too well,” he hummed, pleased, then leaned in to press a kiss to Sonny’s lips. 

It was supposed to be a quick peck, but something crossed Sonny’s features, and suddenly the Detective dropped the spoon he was holding and pulled Rafael into a kiss so deep he almost lifted off the ground. 

Sonny licked into his mouth with wild abandon, and when he pushed Rafael back against the kitchen counter, his immediate response was to pull Sonny flush against his own body. Sonny buried his hands in Rafael’s hair and used his grip to angle his head better, and it felt like he was set on chasing something on Rafael’s lips. 

When they parted, Rafael was panting, his mouth agape and eyes wide, searching for Sonny’s eyes with a clear question.

“That sauce does taste good, doesn’t it?,” he said, breathless and a little sheepish. 

Rafael let out a loud laugh, nodding. “I thought you were trying to eat me alive.” 

Sonny laughed too. “You could say that.” 

He placed another kiss on Rafael’s lips and pulled away, much to his dismay. He could’ve stayed there all night, letting Sonny chase away the taste of honey from his mouth until he couldn’t stand it anymore. 

It made him warm all over, the way Sonny had taken his kiss, the way he’d looked at Rafael, the way he gripped, pushed, owned. 

Even when Sonny went back to the stirring whatever it was he was working on, Rafael was still panting, tingling from head to toe. 

Rafael went back to the seat he’d been occupying previously, the high stool he’d perched on to watch Sonny work his magic around his kitchen. There was music playing, and the light around the room was soft. Sonny was wearing tight jeans and a dark blue button-down, untucked, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, the collar open. He made quite the vision, and Rafael took it in.

It had become a monthly tradition of theirs; Rafael would come over on their quieter day of the month and Sonny would try to whip up something different for them. Sonny really loved to cook, and he loved feeding Rafael what he made just as much. 

On their first date, when Sonny invited him for dinner, Rafael thought they were going out to a restaurant. He’d been surprised to find that the dinner was going to be at Sonny’s place, and he found the Detective in an apron, with a blinding smile and a bottle of wine ready to serve.

So for the last five months, they’d been doing this. And it was Rafael’s favorite night of the month. In a way, it felt like they were celebrating their relationship each time. 

“You know,” Rafael started, only slightly distracted by Sonny bending down to tend to something in the oven. “My mother has been asking about you a lot.”

Apparently Sonny was surprised by that, because he jerked suddenly and managed to hit the top of his head on the counter. Rafael winced, but didn’t worry, he was well used to Sonny’s random slips and trips and such. 

Sonny turned to him with a surprised expression. “You told your mother about me?”

Rafael blinked. “Well, I didn’t name you. She just knows there’s… someone. Was I supposed to keep it quiet?”

“No, not at all,” he said quickly, stepping closer to Rafael. “I just think… It’s kind of a big deal, isn’t it? That you told her?”

“You told your sisters.”

“Yeah, but I’m me, you know how I get, never able to keep my mouth shut about anything. My whole family knows about you,” Sonny said softly, resting his hands on Rafael’s knees. “But you don’t tell your mother a lot.”

Rafael shrugged. “We have a complicated relationship.”

“I know,” he smiled tentatively. “Which is why I’m surprised. I’m happy that you told her. It makes me feel…”

Sonny looked at Rafael, then looked away. The ADA reached for his jaw and turned Sonny back to him softly. “It makes you feel what?”

“Important,” he said, almost shy, and Rafael felt his heart growing so big in his chest he thought it might make his pressure rise. 

He put his hands on top of Sonny’s, caressing the back of them with his thumbs. Opening up was never the easiest thing for him, but he owed Sonny that much, especially with how honest he was, well, always. “You are important, Sonny. You are,” he sighed. ”I’m sorry if I--”

“Hey, hey,” Sonny interrupted, shaking his head. “No, I don’t mean it like that. I’m just happy you wanted to tell her. What did you tell her, then?”

“Well, it was over a month ago, actually. She wanted me to go down to Miami with her, but it was your birthday weekend. She kept trying to ‘work around my schedule’ to make it work, so I just told her that I was seeing someone and couldn’t go because we had important plans.”

Sonny beamed, turning his palms up to hold on to Rafael’s hands. “And what did she say?”

Rafael chuckled. “Oh, you know my mother. She had a lot of questions. I dodged most of them, of course, but she asked if I was happy, and I told her I’ve never been happier. That was enough for her. For now, at least.”

Sonny’s expression softened, and leaned in to press a sweet kiss to Rafael’s lips. “You make me happy, too,” he said, and after a short pause his face turned sheepish again. “While we’re on the topic of parents… Mine have been begging to meet you for over six months now.”

Rafael raised an eyebrow at him. “We’ve been together for five.”

“Well, I may or may not have told them about this very handsome ADA I had my eye on back then,” he smirked. “They text me every time they see you on the news. ‘Your boyfriend’s on TV again’. They started calling you that before we were even dating.”

“A premonition,” Rafael dead-panned.

Sonny threw him a _ look _. “I prefer ‘foretelling’. But don’t feel pressured to accept any of their many invitations to Sunday lunch. You’ll be welcomed when you’re ready.”

“Thank you,” he said, always touched by Sonny being so considerate of his many hung-ups. “But now that I’ve told my mother, I might as well just go all in. How about I join you this Sunday?”

Sonny considered him for a second, cleary trying to read Rafael’s body language. “Are you sure?”

Rafael nodded. “I am,” he said, and Sonny beamed, kissing him again.

**_And I can still see it all (In my mind)_**  
_**All of you, all of me (Intertwined)**_  
**_I once believed love would be (Black and white)  
_** **_But it's golden (Golden)_**

Rafael ran his fingers through Sonny’s hair slowly, trying to pinpoint the colors. Dark blonde, light brown, grey, silver, white. It was impossible to settle on one, especially this closely, Sonny’s head on Rafael’s lap while they watched TV. 

Ever since the first time he’d seen Sonny without any product in his hair, he’d become obsessed. It was soft and fine, running through his fingers like water. Sonny had acquire the habit of nuzzling into his hand, asking silently for Rafael to play with his hair, and he did it gladly.

That was how Rafael had come to know Sonny and understand their relationship. The silent cues, the shared companionship looks, the comfort they found in each other’s company.

Rafael used to think he understood relationships. It was very simple. He’d find someone attractive, asked them out for a drink, and if the conversation was good enough, they’d have sex. If he were lucky, he’d find someone he’d manage to keep that cycle up for a few short months.

But he could see now that that wasn’t a relationship, at most it meant he’d found a good fuck-buddy. A relationship was this, now, with Sonny. It was love that build inside him, so big and bright he couldn’t help but let it spill out. It came out in his kisses, in his words, in his touches, and by the way Rita made fun of him, in his eyes, too.

It was clear because he didn’t want anyone else to be there with him, and the more time he got with Sonny, the more he craved. And now most of his thoughts revolved around the man, how he was doing, wondering if he was unnecessarily putting himself into risky situations.

Rafael had soon made a habit out of checking on Sonny throughout the day, texting him if only to say he missed him. He wanted to do better, to be better, for Sonny. 

He just wanted to keep telling Sonny he loved him in the hope that, some day, Sonny would be able to understand just exactly how much Rafael felt for him.

“This show’s really good, isn’t it?,” Sonny asked with a smile, pushing him cheek into Rafael’s hand.

“It is,” Rafael replied with a smile of his own, not looking up at the TV once. “It’s great.”

** **_And I can still see it all (In my head)  
_**** **** **_Back and forth from New York (Sneaking in your bed)_**  
** ** _I once believed love would be (Burning red)  
_**** **** **_But it's golden_**

When Sonny finally got home, it was pretty late. He took off his shoes by the door and kept his steps as light as possible as to not wake Rafael up. 

He took a shower in the main bathroom, attacked the stash of poptarts Rafael kept stocked for him, and only then risked going into the bedroom. 

The ADA was fast asleep, lying on his front, the sheet low on his back. Sonny saw a case file on his bedside table and shook his head. Rafael wasn’t supposed to bring work to bed, but he always got away with it when Sonny wasn’t home.

Slowly, hoping the bedsprings wouldn’t squeak too much beneath him, Sonny settled into bed with a satisfied sigh. He pulled the covers over himself, then turned to look at Rafael, who seemed unperturbed by Sonny’s attempts to sneak in.

Sonny had always dreamed of a love that consumed him, that made him feel everything he heard about in the songs, that he saw in the movies. A love that was so intense it almost drove him crazy with how strong and overwhelming it was. 

But just then Rafael turned to him and snuggled up closer, an arm around Sonny’s stomach, his nose pressed against Sonny’s jaw, his eyes still closed, and Sonny was certain that that ideal wasn’t what love actually was. 

Because what he felt for Rafael was intense, yes, but it wasn’t consuming him, it was filling him up. All the bad experiences, the exes he wished never happened, Rafael filled in all those open cracks. It wasn’t driving him crazy, it brought him peace. It came with a sense of comfort and home that no physical place, or another person, had ever given him. 

Rafael shifted and sighed against him, an unguarded, content sound, and it was better than all the movies he’d watched, it was more pleasing than the songs he’d listened to.

“Everything went well?,” Rafael half-mumbled, pressing the softest kiss on Sonny’s jawline. 

Sonny wrapped both his arms around Rafael, pulling him closer. “Yeah”, he said, kissing Rafael’s forehead, then smiled. “Everything’s great.”

** **_Like daylight  
_**** **** **_It's golden like daylight_**  
** **_You gotta step into the daylight and let it go  
_** ** **** **_Just let it go, let it go_**

**Author's Note:**

> I think I still have 2 of these in me, so let me know what you think in the comments and maybe I'll manage to write those!
> 
> Which one of this series is your favorite yet? And if you've listened to the album, which one do you think is the most Barisi??? 
> 
> See you soon, babies!! <3 <3 don't forget to hit the kudo button!!!


End file.
